If you guys don’t know, this is where babies come from. What did you learn from Jennifer Lawrence? Um she taught me how to pee in the woods. Wow, that’s fantastic. Yeah. Yeah, because I’m gay. Bye. From sabotaging her own Oscar’s red carpet photos to making Stephen Colbert completely glitch on live television, Jennifer Lawrence does not do polished.
And somehow, nobody has ever figured out how to stop her. We will start with 190 and go to 123. This isn’t like an auction, right? Yes. You guys are going to take it away. What do I do? I what? Wait, sorry. What What do I do? Is your go-to face to ruin a photo? Solid. Yeah. There’s also mousy. That I Oh, wait. No, this one’s better.
Jennifer Lawrence stopped pretending around 2013, and late night hosts have been struggling ever since. Somewhere in the middle of the interview, the professional act completely falls apart and turns into full-on damage control. Before this Yeah, this is What was today like? Today was stressful, and I had no time to eat.
I’m starving. Yes, well, you can eat. There’s like 12 There’s 12 plates afterwards. Wolfgang was here earlier talking about afterwards. Now, why was it stressful today? Jennifer Lawrence, no hard feelings. Spoke to Elizabeth at SNL. And she got She said I outed cuz she talked about the falling down.
She got She was like, “You outed me.” And I said, “But everyone talked about it.” Like one time like oh, hee hee hee. And then the next year consecutively. And then every single time I’m in heels, it looks like I’m like And I’m not. I don’t think it’s funny at all. Our mouths are small. So, glad doesn’t affect our dancing.
Jimmy Fallon tried taking a completely different approach on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. You have something on your nose. Oh, is it a booger? Yeah. I felt it. Did you feel it? I totally felt it. When did it shoot out? just like we’re on TV, there’s no way a BOOGER GETTING THIS I’M ALWAYS used to I always talk so fast cuz I’m used to my brothers just being like, “FINISH, FINISH, SHUT UP.
” NO, like please. I feel like nobody wants to hear me talk. I want to hear I want to hear Yogurt yogurt yogurt just came out of your nose. everything and um I saw Francis Ford Coppola, but it actually was Francis Ford Coppola. It really was. like, “Oh my god, it’s Francis Ford Coppola.
” Maybe you should keep hanging out in like wax museums. So I was hanging out with Abraham Lincoln and like he was by George Washington, he was there too. I had tea with the Pope. I was the only one drinking. The host had a very specific plan for this interview. Jennifer Lawrence heard the plan and immediately treated it like a loose suggestion.
Why do you call him Bear? Why do you call Liam Bear? He’s an animal. He and his whole family, they’re they’re real animals. All the Hemsworths are animals. It’s the craziest family I’ve ever been around in my life. Uh well, what was the process? I don’t know. I just woke up and tried on the dress and it fit, thank god, and and then um I took a shower and I don’t know what I was That’s what I did and then I got my hair and makeup done.
I love that emergency lipstick. Yeah, I know I should hide it from the camera. Yeah. And if you guys don’t know, this is where babies come from. These interviews were supposed to be simple funny moments with Jennifer Lawrence. Somehow they kept turning into fully chaotic situations with studio lighting. Don’t want to touch that part.
Advertisements
This is really slippery from my sweat. Supposedly relatable, but you actually seem like a human being. Oh, thank you. Hey. Do you enjoy being a human being? Cuz human beings have a lot of Yeah, they’re not perfect. No. Where are you going with this? She was there wearing She’s like huddled on the floor in her bathroom naked, and me and Michael on me, and I’m naked.
I burst into her bathroom with a BB gun while she was trying to pee in her front yard. me. It’s so hard to do because you have to stop while you’re in the middle of peeing to let the rest of it go out. Like there’s a whole scientific process. On a normal red carpet, celebrities talk about designers, poses, and the perfectly polished lines their publicist approved earlier.
Then Jennifer Lawrence arrives looking like she was personally challenged to destroy the entire vibe. I’m sorry. I did a shot before I Sorry. The interviewer is trying to keep the moment moving like a normal celebrity interview. Jennifer Lawrence hears normal and immediately turns the entire thing into chaos.
That’s what I heard. You actually went to the premiere of your movie after that. Did it show? Um well, I my I I tried to overdo it and was like, “Don’t look drunk. This is me sober. I’m not slurring. My eyebrows aren’t slurring.” Yeah, I do too. I put on I listen to murder and I and I I’m sorry, you what? My murder podcast.
Murder podcast. I thought you would literally LISTEN TO THAT. WHAT’S THAT, HONEY? ARE REALLY WEIRD. EXACTLY. OKAY, she’s married to Ben Affleck. Jennifer Garner. Okay. I don’t know why I’m so nervous. I AM KILLING IT. SHE WON AN ACADEMY AWARD FOR BEAUTIFUL MIND. JENNIFER CONNELLY.
Most celebrities give the safe, polished red carpet answer. Jennifer Lawrence somehow makes the whole event feel like it accidentally turned into her private group chat. I give him a hug and he’s like, “Do you have any food? I’m so hungry.” And I do have food, but it’s in the trash. And so while he was in the bathroom, I was just like pulling food out of my garbage can.
When he was finished, he was like, “I’m I’m still hungry. Is there no more?” And I’m like, “Well, there is, but it’s it’s in the garbage.” And he’s like, “I don’t mind.” And then he was like, “Can I get it out of the trash?” At the Golden Globe Awards, Jennifer Lawrence is technically supposed to be serving glamorous movie star energy.
Instead, her facial expressions start exposing exactly what she’s thinking before she even says a word. What did you do for the last 3 years? I just had a ton of sex. Miranda Sings is way better than Jennifer Lawrence. Do you agree? Yeah, much better. Prettier, funnier. Yeah, better movies.
Yeah, overall. Great. I’m Jennifer Lawrence. Oh my god, sorry. We just kissed on camera and I LIKED IT. YOU GOT Jennifer Lawrence on your face. I’ll get I’ll get Jennifer Lawrence off my face. The Academy Awards are supposed to be Hollywood’s most polished night. Then Jennifer Lawrence showed up and turned the Oscars into one of the most talked about celebrity moments of her entire career.
Um, is it purple, really? Okay, yeah. Yes, yes it is. You recently were ill-used in the defense of Harvey Weinstein. Yes. Okay. It was. He is just He is just to get it fixed. I bet you could make your way through a steak. Yeah. And And Meryl kind of said, “That’s right.
Just tell the old goat where to go.” And I was like, “Meryl, you know that goat means greatest of all time, right?” The thing about Jennifer Lawrence on talk shows is that she never treats the host like a host. She treats him like some random guy trapped next to her in an elevator. And that’s when the interview stops being controlled and just becomes Jennifer Lawrence.
The queen has arrived now. god. How are you, gorgeous? You look beautiful. Wait, I have to I have to get at least a little one right there. How are you feeling? Amazing. Really, really, really good. I knew you were going to win though. Everybody did. You did such a great job and you had the momentum coming in. knew and nobody told me? tell you.
god. or did you Yeah, of course I was shocked. I can’t believe Stephen Colbert came into this The Late Show with Stephen Colbert interview with an actual plan. Then Jennifer Lawrence sat down and suddenly the entire format started falling apart in real time. Hey Stephen, Yeah, Jen. go back in time and give yourself a piece of advice, what would it be? Don’t forget to build the time machine.
Hey, what’s your biggest regret? Not helping that raccoon get his head out of the mayonnaise jar. What’s yours? My biggest regret is eating that mayonnaise-covered raccoon. And the doctor would say that Which made everything a lot worse. Stephen Colbert had a plan for this Late Show interview. That was adorable.
Jennifer Lawrence sits down and the format immediately starts sweating. I talked to the wardrobe lady about it and I was like, “I think I’m going to ask him.” Here’s how. I’m going to give him my number. And she was like, “Honey, he’s engaged.” I WAS LIKE, “COOL. GOOD TALK.” WE SHOULD HAVE HAD YOU DO A TOAST AT OUR WEDDING.
HAPPY WITHOUT YOU. DANCERS. Very good dancers. When we totally go to Coachella, nobody wants to go. I go to the Coachella. I’ve never seen my mom more drunk in our lives. We were worried. I was way more drunk than your mom. Me, Charlize Theron, and um Yeah, so Kim Basinger wasn’t there.
