There are comedians who know how to work a crowd, and then there was robin williams. No matter where he showed up, within minutes he had everyone around him completely losing it. These are his greatest moments. She also had a wonderful sight gag we can’t do here where she cuts a rubber band in half and goes ; [snorts] ; that one.
; [laughter] ; yeah, that’s the life. ; yeah, that’s one that drives my father like, “that’s it, i’m leaving. I’m not telling you where i’m going.” oh, mom, [laughter] you’re going to do this. Oh, no. ; [laughter] ; somebody was saying that your mother, your mom, is in an exercise video. ; [laughter] ; is that true? ; yeah, it is, and it’s how did this come about? ; i don’t know.
i guess that she didn’t take the check i gave her and ; [laughter] ; mama, please. Here’s all the residuals from mork & mindy, please. [laughter] have you seen it? No, not yet, but oh, no, this is going to be another one of those things where oh, no, i just got scared. And then there’s your mom going like that. ; [laughter] ; mama, mama, no.
The first day on the set i came to visit. He prepared for the scene by doing this kind of ; [screaming and groaning] ; and i was backstage and went and he goes, “who did that? Who did that?” it’s me, mr. Pacino. Nice to meet you. And he goes, “oh, hey robin, it’s you. Okay, we’ll start. Let’s do this.
let’s do this.” now, uh i must ask you this might be too personal, but uh we 8 in is we just like many world-class comedians, williams’ humor often crossed the line, and it’s safe to say he always got away with it thanks to his flawless execution. I was on this german talk show and this woman said, “mr. Williams, why do you think there’s not so much comedy in germany?” and i said, “did you ever think you tried to kill all the funny people?” and ; but not a joke. Not a joke.
I still have some images running through my mind. Jack jack talking about oysters have enemies. Man, you say that even buddha would go, “what are you on?” [laughter] that seems to work. When you invited robin williams onto your show, you just had to accept that it would be his show for the day. Martha stewart learned that the hard way when she thought she’d be inviting williams over just to cook.
and luckily luckily luckily, we are going to mix up the rub, and you’re going to rub it into the meat. Wow. Okay. See, that shuts him up. ; luckily that i had that experience from the ages 12 to 22. ; [laughter] ; i’ll be rubbing the meat as we say for the little children, look away for a moment. Robert de niro is legendary for his terrifying method acting focus, but put him in a scene with robin williams, and even de niro himself crumbles.
I’m sorry. A a library. Let’s call it that. I mean, i mean ; [laughter] ; that sounds expensive. Expensive, [laughter] expensive. Let’s go with it. It’s an idea before it’s time, but let’s try it. I’ve wanted to talk like this for the entire movie. ; [laughter] ; i want to be an old jewish doctor.
lenny and i have an idea. ; when you play online and you get owned by a 10-year-old going you’re my [ __ ] ; [laughter] ; what? Hey, old man, i own your ass. ; [laughter] ; how old are you? This many. I’m a babe, you can see that on film. When presented with the cecil b. Demille award at the 2005 golden globes, williams didn’t hold back from firing shots. Size of target irrelevant.
; comedy is very hard. Comedy is about women with wonderful hands and a governor in california who talks like this. Man who said, “welcome to california.” a true american. Now we know. It’s intense. You can’t i have that voice. Annunciato. Manda la roga la gisto. No, don’t. Nareva pura la gista vero. Questa.
i’m out of order. You’re out of order. Cadillac croupier 4 cadillacs 4. ; [laughter] ; i’m sorry. All right, i’m sorry. You’re not professional. Ready? And ; [laughter] ; what happened? By the late ’80s, michael jackson’s personal life was making bigger headlines than his music. Here’s what robin williams had to say about it.
; the strange about michael jackson, the fact that he travels with a chimp, sleeps in an ozone box, even the enquirer is going, “i can’t print that.” ; [laughter] ; strange person, isn’t he? Why why would you want the bones of an elephant man? I don’t know. It’s like they’re sitting in your house out in encino. I don’t understand it.
no, no, no, that’s it’s the way i am. ; [applause] ; and i love you, man. Is it true robin williams was such a good entertainer, you’d even have an actor like jack nicholson calling him up on stage to help him with his speech. ; what jack is trying to say here is he’s so happy to be here he could drop a log. Really.
Tell him, jack. Tell him like it is, buddy, cuz you’re the buddha of show business. Take it home. ; [cheering] [applause] ; that’s so bad. Great set of hands. Wait a minute. Take it easy. I want to thank you for getting into that dress. Until the mother go. ; until he got here i couldn’t think about anything but spanking gillian hall.
i don’t know what happened to me. They sent this home to me at night. I just thought, “oh, boy, this is great.” that’s all i’ve been taking all night. Let’s do that for the deaf now. ; [cheering] ; this is what happens when you give the irish free drinks. A very dignified maniac. ; though many talk show hosts couldn’t even keep up with williams, there’s one who found his humor irresistible, and that’s johnny carson.
; what were you doing at 10? 10? I was going what’s that? ; [laughter] ; ooh, look at that. Well, the fun’s just beginning. ; [laughter] ; i have a choice. I can either become a priest or go blind. ; [laughter] ; oh, and and it’s amazing thing, you know, you come to england you see a black man, you go yo, bro, what it is? Yo, excuse me, my man.
what’s up? What’s up? Let me know this you to go pardon me. Ooh, ooh. Tell him not to go that way, man. You’ve been pushing the boundary too long. One of the first times i was in afghanistan, i looked over, there was a group of australian special forces guys sitting on a fuel truck smoking. Don’t worry, robin, it’s diesel. ; [laughter] ; there’s another drug.
another drug they don’t tell you is a drug. It’s a class four narcotic, alcohol. And alcohol is especially dangerous for people like myself, alcoholics. Robin, how do i know if i’m an alcoholic? Well, ask one. Let me give you some warning signs. Number one, after night of heavy drinking, you wake up fully clothed going, “hey, somebody’s [ __ ] my pants.
” number two, you have a couple of cocktails, you find yourself on the freeway going, “what are these doing going the wrong way?” number three, you get drunk, you go out for indian food, you wake up in bombay with a camel licking your balls. You are an alcoholic. And they say alcoholism is peer pressure.
[ __ ] peer pressure for an alcoholic is in this next clip, robin gives charlie rose his take on the economy. Having been through rehab himself, he noticed something familiar about the way bankers were asking for money. ; people losing their jobs, can you go there? I don’t know. No, i don’t go there pretty much cuz that’s hard.
i mean, you can talk about i mean, i talk about the economy and the idea of like the new about the wall street people. Oh, yeah, the big you can give them a oh, yeah, basically i talked to them about being like a group of junkies who’ve relapsed going, “listen, man, i just need some liquidity. You know what i’m saying? I just ran into some bad subprime, you know? We just had complex formulas.
we just didn’t factor in greed and panic, you know? ; [laughter] ; i just need 805 billion dollars by tuesday. Yeah, no, seriously. No, i i would not screw you again. ; [laughter] ; it’s pretty crap. ; i’ve learned my lesson. I know, baby, this is not like the other time. This oh, no, this is no, seriously, [laughter] i just just try to get back.
Help me out. Just give me a little bit. ; yeah, just a taste. That’s all i need is a taste. I need 2.5 trillion dollars. Be careful. I’ll pay you back. Can’t make it through one week. They’re going to print out a new $20 bill. The new geithner $20 bill will be, you know, instead of in god we trust, it’ll just say, “trust me.
” ; [laughter] ; and there’ll be the little man from monopoly going like that. I had to bring this up, but i think your fly is open a little bit when you came out. Nice of you to notice that. ; [laughter] ; you haven’t been married that long, i guess. Let me just check and see. ; yeah, it’s open, i’m afraid.
; i don’t think so. I just think it’s trying to get out. ; [laughter] ; is it open? Wait, wait. It looked a little open when you came out. I’m trying to prevent some kind of embarrassment. ; not at all. Let’s just do the puppet show and get it over with. [laughter] hi, boys and girls. You’re not going to choke me, are you? ; [laughter] ; oh, robin. I’m sorry. Robin, please.
i’m sorry. ; [applause] ; this show is for children. For children? ; this is primarily a show for kids. Didn’t you know that? Yeah. ; kids who are up late cuz nothing else [laughter] is kids they won’t let me watch midnight blue hair ; [laughter] ; look what i made out of legos now. First of all bob i want to congratulate you on the new look the saddam hussein mission thing you’ve got going on really looking good man i tell you it will work hello hello very good they’ve not taken the airport it is still open okay.
And there’s a you know it was a wonderful movie to be doing with him because we were working with a lot of mental patients and well there was [snorts] us and there were also real mental patients and he would finish a take and sometimes the parkinsonian patients would be going that’s some good so you know you’re really kicking it.
If the real people are gone. Robin had a piece of advice for anyone thinking about getting a parrot i had a parrot once and do not in any form put them in your bedroom because you think it’ll be lovely to wake up to the parrot. ; yeah. Because they hear everything. Yeah. And there you’ll have the bird out and it’ll one day be sitting there and you’re what a lovely bird and the bird will go bite me ass.
Wow but the guy who i want to see do a voice i want to see jack nicholson as bugs bunny going hello doctor what’s up. Nice piece of tail trixie. In this next clip robin williams goes off script at the people’s choice awards the second he notices tom cruise is in the room. Time with it and i think yo. I love you tom.
[screaming] tom i love you robin. Raymond you like tom? Yeah he’s a friend yeah tom cruise yeah a lot of awards yeah 304 votes yeah. You’re a vampire now. Damn you look like a before and after commercial. ; [laughter] ; all right thanks to this incredible implant you can become tom cruise. I think the boy is pretty i love him.
I walked 15 miles in the snow to stand in your garbage. Pretty man and a damn good actor too. Can i ask you a question? ; [laughter] ; this is the hairiest man i’ve ever seen in my life. It’s it is frightening it is an amazing thing i’ve actually been at the zoo and had monkeys go what are you doing outside? ; [laughter] ; occasionally i’ve had to do a thing with a you know for certain movies i’ve had to wax and i had a lady wax.
; that actually? Once and it was like this woman halfway through said you mind if i take a break? You feel like you should have like people on your back going nobody knows. The trouble i see. ; [laughter] ; taking their hair off robin. I also want to thank the hollywood foreign press for acknowledging comedy jim you know this we are normally they look at comedians as like very special people thank you very much.
And you allow us to be in the room with the adults you nominate actually even have a category for us comedy and dancing. There’s a lot of dancers who could have been up here tonight but they didn’t make it. He may have been gone too soon but he was far ahead of his time roasting public figures long before they became everyday targets of online satire.
; and donald trump is the wizard of oz he is the guy he plays monopoly with real buildings this is a man who said my daughter is hot. Even people in arkansas went that’s wrong that’s that’s just a way out of place and that’s hair my god i i believe the hair is the donald i believe the body is a maintenance system for the hair he goes home at night going we’re home.
I can’t smoke marijuana i just start laughing it’s it’s like a porn actor who farts it’s not good. ; [laughter] ; yeah girl come on girl we’re going to yeah. ; [cheering] ; yeah come on baby whoa whoa. First question do you think that some people get worried like if you’re going to elect obama he’s so eloquent that all of a sudden he’s going to be elected and immediately go what’s up what’s up what’s up.
Poor boy you told me in chicago that was just an act i’m thrilled. You’re real all the folks in connecticut are going it’s so fabulous mr. Obama i was voting and w keeps going isn’t that the guy no that’s osama it’s ; [laughter] ; when i even stephen hawking’s going the child seems to be doing quite well. Williams didn’t impersonate he reimagined here’s a shakespeare performance you’ll want to rewind at least twice.
; wondering around stratford after a couple of beers knocking on doors going i assist to be or not to be. Right on yeah. I wrote that it’s mine. That’s mine i’m william shakespeare all right kiss my tits. Say hello to my little friend. A lion yes a lion heard in bedrooms all around the world. Sad but true you got injustice for all the present administration going i’m out of order you’re out of order.
And then what about who ha. [screaming] what are you foghorn leghorn what’s that. Who ha. That’s not even a phrase. It’s a noise you make when you’re getting a rectal exam who ha. ; [laughter] ; one of the most annoying catchphrases of all time and yet you got an oscar for it forget that. Schwarzenegger walks into the room i’m back watch out denmark.
Mother come here i love you big kiss for you sorry you’re dead. Look over here i’m going to do another speech but first i’m going to tear through a wall and flex my nipples. Don’t be afraid of me. ; [cheering] ; don’t be afraid. [applause] needless to say filming with robin williams also came with its challenges when a cast member is that funny it generally takes a few cuts to get through a scene without breaking into laughter this scene from night at the museum is a perfect example.
Nice to meet you lawrence here yourself a lion is a bigger ass life and i my pants are split so hard i can actually see [laughter] so that means i’m in charge of all of this. I’m in charge of hi ha. [screaming] ; [laughter] ; but mark my words this is the last time i shall ever do so is that understood. Um i mean i mean i yes or no.
; [laughter] ; they once asked chris he said chris if you could have anything in the world what would you like a tail because you know if i was happy the tail would be up ; [laughter] ; moving around you could you do chris too you know him you did a movie with chris esprit yes you know he thinks that bath suits are funny even shakespeare to be or not ; [laughter] ; to be whether it’s nobler to suffer slings and arrows.
there was once a time when a bbc debate was unexpectedly interrupted by technical difficulties lucky for them robin williams was in the room and it wasn’t long before he turned the show into an impromptu stand-up comedy. I’m not talking technology is obviously working very well there’s a guy backstage with a cup going now. Talking about evolution we have they’ve obviously taken that all away and the the end of the universe as we know it which is actually in 1 hour.
We’re here with a live debate that’s not being televised these seats are reserved for past dignitaries i don’t know who that was but are you okay. The allergies. ; [laughter] ; people ask how do you do george bush here’s a quick thing. First of all you take john wayne and you tighten his ass and you’ve got george bush.
; [applause] ; that doesn’t take a lot you just take your you need him. And if you go even further you you just take your you’ve got ross perot. It’s basically you cross a pitbull and walter brennan let me finish let me finish. Oh mr. Sinatra can i just shake your hand. Why not. Oh [laughter] marlene sell my clothes i’m going to heaven.
; [laughter] ; i’m so happy to be here i could drop a log. Did you know in the 1980s williams was briefly considered for the role of the joker in batman before the studio ultimately maneuvered to cast nicholson the two shared a warm decades-long friendship and a few unforgettable on stage moments.
and i believe there’s one man we could run for office and even the french would go [ __ ] off that man is jack nicholson. Yes. Oh yeah baby you’ll never have a sex scandal with jack because he has [ __ ] everyone i had angelina jolie and afterwards she adopted me and he’s done every known drug known to mankind he’d be the only guy in the world that keith richards would go i have to go home now jack no i really do he’s [ __ ] over where are you running you [ __ ] get back here.
; [applause] ; my english is better today. I am happy to be here. ; [laughter] ; with a man they raised so much money for. It’s a great to see you wear a tie that could have been a couch thank you. ; [laughter] ; thank you. For me the knowledge to tell certain shows is french. ; french. Wait a minute wait a minute.
Chicago over there over there. Uh german. ; okay. ; [cheering] ; imagine a wrecking ball. ; oh. ; [cheering] ; mylessaurus. And he met with arnold so i’m talking about that now. Basically, our two little fuel sources most likely. Maybe ethanol. Robin grew up in suburban michigan and northern california, but somehow he could pull off a southern accent like he was born and raised in savannah.
wood grain alcohol, which is uh what people used to brew up in the hills. You know, y’all just stay they were using ethanol. We didn’t put it in the car though. We just drank it. Right. Exactly. So it’d be good. Your car’s going to burn faster, but occasionally just go off the road and go, “i can’t move.” police, you get out of the car.
it’s not me that’s drinking. The car’s drunk, man. It’s drinking pure wood grain alcohol. James bond question, first of yes, sir. I i i i grew up watching sean connery basically do everything and as a a friend said, “a prick on legs.” basically, uh what is this, moneypenny? Uh look, look what i’ve made for you, james.
it’s a cruise missile and a vibrator. Small, inserted. Look where it goes. Good luck. Sorry about the fountain pen. Oh dear, some [ __ ] has my oh god. And you, simon, with your man breasts. What are you doing? Your man breasts and the hair of chest, you remind me of my sister. You look gorgeous. You are beautiful. You are beautiful man.
i could announce it to the back row. Just like sylvester stallone doing hamlet. There’d be a place where stallone could do hamlet. ; or what? ; [applause] ; no, they might have not known each other personally, but robin had the rosie perez groove down like nobody else. Tell me right now, i want you to do my quick i’m going to before i bring out doody roberts. Listen to me.
listen to me right now. I want to talk about the movies i did before this thing. I i want to want to man now. Oh, half-breed. Uh share? ; yeah. Right. I don’t know what i’m going to write. Hey, right there. ; [laughter] ; score! ; [screaming] ; uh uh beckham. David beckham. There’s one guy who could do porn and i think we all would watch.
that guy is chris walken. Oh god, yes. Chris would be up there going, “i’m inside you. So deep inside you now. [ __ ] you now. Inside you. Deep inside you now. Yes, now.” i came an hour ago. We’re having clowns. Why not go that way? No, listen. I live in california. It’s 60% hispanic and we have an austrian governor. And when every time arnold talks about immigration, i feel like, “get in the car, children. Come along. We’re going.
” you must go towards nevada and you feel like the julie andrews in the hills going, “the hills are quickly, go.” i do a great impression of a hot dog. Uh iran, iraq. Stalagmite, stalactite. That’s there you go, sir. You’re all set for the press conference. Are you sure they won’t be able to see it at all? Uh good.
it feels just like my hearing aid. Now, instead of briefing you thoroughly as we normally do, which tends to tire and confuse you, if you’re stumped for an answer, i’ll talk into the mic and it will be transmitted directly into the receiver. And so. Well, just like radio. ; [laughter] ; well, that’s fine with me. The president of the united states.
; well, that’s my cue, boys. Yep. You say iran, i say iraq. Let’s call the whole thing a deal. What does this you’ve got the script in your hand, [ __ ] you blowing it? Your places. I think i just farted. Let’s do that one again. The farting part? No. What? This is supposed to be how you do that. In goodwill hunting, robin went so far off script that even the cameraman lost it.
my wife used to fart when she was nervous. She used to fart in her sleep. [laughter] one night it was so loud it woke the dog up. If you look closely, you can see the camera shaking from him laughing. It’s robin. I was georgetown university. I was awarded the william f. Thompson i hate to keep him away. ; [laughter] ; oh, we’re thank [laughter] you.
georgetown university. I was awarded the william f. Thompson scientist i hate this part. I always do that. Hi. I’m patch adams. ; [laughter] ; baby. Baby. I’m going to go back over there. Yeah, okay. It’s a simple one. Bird. ; [laughter] ; sorry. The man with a spear tried to trap bird. Sorry. Oh god. ; [laughter] ; you okay? Is it a joke, tablet? Yes, it is actually. I do not think that’s it.
The other teddy was saying something about the secret to happiness is the secret to happiness is the key to happiness is oh. The key to happiness? I’ll tell you the key to happiness. ; [laughter] ; being able to finish this robin was so unpredictable on set that when he actually fell during the birdcage, everyone just assumed it was part of the act.
; what do you think to do? You no give me no time to talk. Shut up. It’s okay. We’re all right. It’s fine. Just shut up, goddammit. It’s all right. Stop crying, goddammit. Why are you standing there for? Go. Go. She’ll be here in a minute. Go. Damn it. Let’s try it again. There were times when robin williams got so into character, he needed a cast member to snap him back to reality.
Let’s be uncoordinated. All right, let’s do this. ; [screaming] ; i can’t quit you. I can’t quit you. You know i can’t quit you. We know what you meant. ; [laughter] ; you’re not the boss of me. I was very adult. All right. Sword fight. Oh. ; [laughter] ; it blew it out and it went it went a bit big. Look, it’s still burning.
What do you want to do, walter? Tonight. And it wasn’t well animal either. What? Get off the screen. ; [laughter] ; right. I don’t know what i’m going to write. Hey, right there. Score! Uh uh beckham. David beckham.
