Shaq: Welcome to Shaq’s edition of “Snotty Nose Wings”. I feel like Snottie Pippen up here, eating these wings. Sean: Hey, what’s going on, everybody? For <i>First We Feast</i>, I’m Sean Evans, and you’re watching <i>Hot Ones</i>. It’s the show with hot questions and even hotter wings. And by popular demand, we’re joined today by Shaquille O’Neal.
He’s one of the most dominant players in <i>NBA</i> history. You can catch him as an analyst on TNT’s <i>Emmy Award</i> winning “<i>Inside the NBA</i>”. And if all that weren’t enough, he’s also a globally recognized DJ sensation, bringing “Shaq’s Funhouse” to <i>Miami Music Fest</i> on March 29th. Shaquille O’Neal, welcome to the show.
Shaq: I’m a big fan of your show, and I know your stuff is hot. I don’t trust you. So, I brought my own milk. Sean: You brought your own jug. Shaq: Yep. I brought my own milk. Sean: You know, just like everyone else, I saw your “One Chip Challenge”, so I have an idea. But I do have to ask. How are you with spicy food? Shaq: I don’t eat spicy food.
However, I got embarrassed about, ’cause I promised I wouldn’t make a face on eating those wings. I’m guaranteeing, on this show, I will not make a face. Just take a little bite? Sean: Mhm. Shaq: Like that? I have to really take a bite? Sean: So, you’re one of the most accomplished players in <i>NBA</i> history.
Could probably do a whole episode around your Hall of Fame career. Do you remember the first time you ever smashed a backboard into a thousand pieces? Shaq: In high school, in San Antonio, Texas. But, it was a cheap dunk. Uh, I couldn’t dunk till my senior year. So, my junior year, we used to dump off, what they call, apple boxes.
Sean: Yeah, we have some on set, actually. Yeah. Shaq: Yeah, so I used to, I used to put an apple box and imagine that I was in the <i>NBA</i>. So, one day I ran and took off, and I hung on the rim, and it broke and the glass shattered, and we ran out.
The next day, the gym teacher came right to me and said: “I know you broke the backboard.”, and he says: “You know what? If you break a real backboard next year, when you star university, I won’t be upset.”. So, every time I got in the game, as a senior, I would try to dunk, and dunk, and then one game, in my senior year, I broke it. Sean: Took that one down, too. Shaq: Yeah. And I ran to the gym coach and he gave me a hug.
Sean: Finally, you did an amazing sit down interview with Kobe Bryant last year, where you two reconciled some of your differences. What was the most… Shaq: We never had, we never had any differences. You know, people need to understand that in any relationship there’s gonna be some turmoil. But, when you don’t have respect, then comes differences.
We always had respect. We just had a difference of opinion. Problems would be us winning no championships at all. Sean: That’s right. Shaq: Not three out of four. I mean, like, I always tell people, like, even though we had our differences, it’s not like I’m gonna see him at a restaurant eating, and then be like: “Give me this chicken wing.
Give me this second chicken wing, little Kobe.”. And, and bite into it. It’s always about respect. so… Sean: Working it. Working it. Shaq: Working it. Ah. This one’s a little hotter, but I’m not gonna make a face. Are we’re allowed to drink water? Sean: You can if you want. Shaq: Actually, I’m not, ’cause water is gonna activate it. Aha. You tried to trick me.
And that’s what happened on TNT, when I bit into that ghost pepper chip, I was fine, but it got caught in my throat. Sean: It was the water’s fault. Shaq: And then… Yeah. Yeah. So the water activated it. So, I’m not gonna let nothing activate it today. Sean: So, there’s a lot of debate about which <i>NBA</i> players can actually rap.
From Iman Shumpert, to Allen Iverson, to Damian Lillard. And I’m curious, as the only player to actually land a recording deal with a major label, which <i>NBA</i> players would you allow in your cypher? Shaq: I mean, I, probably, would allow all of them. I never wanted an album deal. Arsenio Hall asked me to come on the show, and I was introducing the world to Shaquille O’Neal.
And I was like: “You know, I don’t wanna come on your show and just be in a suit, flashing money and talking about what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna be different.”, I said: “So, I’ll do your interview, but afterwards you got to let me rap with my favorite rap group.”. So, for me, it was just a dream to rap with my favorite rap group. So, I did it. Here’s the clip right here. Check it out.
So, after that, the next day people called me and said:”Hey, we wanna, wanna give you a three album deal, $10 million.”. Never gonna turn that down. Y’all get me all my favorite people that I wanna rap with, be part of completing my dreams and it’ll work. Also, I realized when you go platinum, I made 1 or 2 million. That’s not enough money for me.
So, I was like: “You know what? This is fun, but I don’t, I don’t want to be a rapper. I just wanna have fun doing it.”. Just like deejaying. I don’t wanna be the greatest DJ in the world. I wanna go out and get that, that feeling of a game seven. When you see all those people that paid all that money to watch you perform, I got to give them a show. Give me the ball.
I see some kids out there jumping, they want me to score. That’s what it’s all about for me. Just, you know, all about just basically having fun. Sean: And then in addition to your own platinum records, you’ve been name checked by some of the biggest rappers ever. From Biggie, to Lil Wayne, to 50 cent.
Do you have a favorite Shaq lyric? Shaq: “I’m slammin’ like Shaquille.”, by Notorious B.I.G. I can say it, but you can’t say it. Oh, I almost made a face. Getting these bones out. You almost got me. Ah! Which one is this? Sean: Right there. Shaq: Pepper, garlic, grapefruit, onions and carrots? Still no face. Ah! Sean: So, you’ve established yourself as something of a financial guru for a lot of younger players.
But, is it true that you blew $1 million, within 45 minutes, of signing with the <i>Magic</i> in ’92? Shaq: Yeah. That’s true. Sean: What’d you buy? Shaq: I bought a black 600 SEC Mercedes. ‘Cause, ’cause one thing I forgot about is FICA. You know who FICA is? Sean: You didn’t know about the taxes? Shaq: Yeah. Sean: Yeah. Shaq: I didn’t know, I didn’t even know who FICA was, so… And then I had no negotiating skill.
Like, I, probably, could have got the car down to 120, but the guy was like: “Yeah, 1, 1, 138 each, equal out to 150.”. I’ll take it. Black one, with the wheels, had to pull out, I had to pull out Alpine deck. You remember that? The one you’d pull out with the leather case. So, I pull up to my dad’s house and he said: “Where’s mine at?”.
So, I’m like, in my mind: “A million, minus 150. I got 850 left. I’m still rich.”. So, I go buy him one. My mom want one. So, I got her the little one, which is about 100. So, I was left with about 600. So, then after, you know, we were showing off our cars, I was like: “I’ll be back.”. Go to the mall. Nice little Rolex. Sean: Must have. Shaq: Hunt it. Some earrings. Hunt it.
Give me a four finger ring. 150. Give me some shoes. Give me a couple suits. Hit my boys off with a couple stacks. You know? And then I got a call from the president of the bank on an army base the next day. He’s like: “You’re 50,000 in the hole.”. I was like: “No, you’re wrong.”. ‘Cause in my mind I had, I thought I had a million, b
ut… So, when I, we went and looked at the paperwork, I was 50,000 in the hole. ‘Cause I was just writing checks like crazy. And my parents have always raised me using scare tactics, because, uh, 75% of all professional athletes, when they’re done, five years after they’re d
one, have nothing. And they didn’t want me to be like that, so… I had to hire a business manager. I think it was a great lesson. I have six children, and I want them to respect more than just having their daddy as Shaq. Like, when I come to the parent-teacher meetings, and they call me Doctor O’Neal… gets me hard. Not this hard, this hard. Just, you know what I’m… hard. So, I just, it doesn’t… Sean: I follow. Shaq: This is out of respect.
Of course, your daddy is Shaq, and he did a lot, but… your father also has a doctorate. Your father also owns businesses. Your father is also very respectful. He’s very charitable. I want them to see me as more than just a retired great basketball player. This one’s a little spicier. Ah. All right. Which one is this one? Sean: “Cheeba Gold”.
Shaq: This one’s a little spicy. That bite is running up and down. Sean: Still not making a face, though. Shaq: Nope. Sean: Still holding strong. Shaq: Never. Sean: So, the mythology around you is so enormous, that the only way to get to the truth is to fact check the legend himself. Shaq: Yes. Sean: So, here I’ll hit you with some larger than life Shaq folktales.
Shaq: That one’s hot, I almost made a face. Go ahead. Sean: And you just tell me if it’s truth or fiction. Okay? Shaq: Yeah. Sean: Is it true that you once saved Carlos Mencia’s life when he was getting savagely heckled by Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg at a comedy show? Shaq: Yeah. Yeah. He did a joke that was borderline, and they was getting ready to check him.
So, I just, you know, helped him get out the back door. Sean: Fact or fiction? Used to have police lights on your truck… Shaq: I have no idea… Sean: …and you once… Shaq: …what you’re talking about. Sean: …pulled over Darius Miles… Shaq: Oh, stop it. Sean: …on the freeway and made him late for <i>Clippers</i> practice.
Shaq: I don’t remember that, ’cause if I wasn’t working that day, I’d get in trouble, so… I’m just gonna go on rekord… Sean: That one’s fiction. That one’s fiction. Shaq: I’m just gonna go on record and say: I refuse to answer any questions on the grounds that it may incriminate me. Sean: Is it true… Shaq: I refuse to answer any questions on the grounds that may incriminate…
Sean: Is it true that you have the record for the largest singular purchase in and ‘Walmart’ history. Shaq: Yes, that’s true. I got traded from <i>Miami</i> to <i>Phoenix</i>, and I had an apartment, that I got in one day. It was a three bedroom, nice apartment. When I shop, I don’t shop, I already know what I want when I go there, and I just go get it.
So, if I got to get towels, I’m just gonn… 30 towels, 30 little towels. I need pots and pans. Grab it. What got me was the TVs, ’cause I ordered about six TVs. That’s what got me. Sean It’ll catch up with you. 70 grand? Shaq: 67,000. Sean: Did you give Paul Pierce’s nickname The Truth? Shaq: Yes. ‘Cause I don’t look at score report, ’cause it don’t matter.
‘Cause every time I go play against a player, he reminds me of this. A barbecue chicken. Like that, that’s what I’m doing. Any player, that steps on the court. I don’t care how cool, how cools you are, that’s what I’m doing. See, the other ones, I just took a bite. But this one… Sean: Cleaned it. Shaq: Imma eat the whole thing. Yeah.
Sean: No face. No face. Shaq: So, he played… well he was doing work that game. And I was like: “You know what? This kid is the truth.”. Sean: Is it true that you gave ‘NSYNC’ their first big break, by having them record in your home studio, after you saw them perform the national anthem at an <i>Orlando Magic</i> game? Shaq: It was one of my worst music career mistakes ever.
I could have signed them… Sean: You could’ve. Shaq: …and ‘Backstreet Boys’. I think I let them record my studio for a dollar. But, I just didn’t understand that music, and my biggest mistakes not investing in <i>Starbucks</i>, not signing ‘NSYNC’ and ‘Backstreet Boys’. Sean: We’re on five, Shaq’s on six, working ahead, but we have a recurring segment on our show called “explain that gram”, where we do a deep dive on our guest Instagram, pull interesting pictures that need more context. Shaq: Got it.
Sean: So, I’ll bust out the laptop. I’ll show you the picture, you just tell me the bigger story. Does that sound good? Shaq: Are you eating or do you want me to wait? Sean: Well, you could chill on that, if you want to. Shaq: Oh, you want me to wait. I’m moving too fast for you, little hot show. Ha? Yeah.
Sean: I’m trying to keep up. I’m on my heels over here, Shaq. Shaq: Got it. Still hasn’t made a face, America. Sean: All right, Shaq. First things first… Shaq: America, should I drink some water or not? Sean: It activates it. Shaq: Take a little sip. Nah, I ain’t gonna take no sip. Sean: What’s going on here? Looks like you’re hoisting Gronk.
Shaq: Yeah. Gronk is the strongest white dude I’ve ever felt. Not felt. Let me take that back. What… Gronk, Gronk is the strongest white guy I’ve ever picked up. He’s very strong. He likes to party, I like to party. And this was my first “Shaq’s Fun House” in Miami. It was cool until he started doing pelvic thrusts behind my head.
Like, if you hold somebody up and they don’t move, it’s cool. But, once they start doing the, you know, the pelvic thrusts, I had to… Sean: Had to put him down? Shaq: Yeah. Yeah, I had to put him down. Yao Ming is the same size as my favorite convenience store. Sean: <i>7-Eleven</i>? Shaq: Yes.
He’s really 7’11 He likes to say he’s 7’6. Bullshit. Can I say bullshit on this show? Yeah. Sean: Absolutely. It’s the internet. Let ’em fly. Shaq: He’s way up there. Oh, my God. He’s… and he just dwarfs me. So, every time I see him, I got to take a picture. Sean: Is this in Shanghai or where is this? Shaq: Yeah, this is Shanghai.
Every time I go to China, I reach out to him. Because, funny story, I kinda got in trouble for this, but… Sean: Right. Shaq: I wasn’t being like, they, they, they, uh, used the word racist, but it was far from that. So, when I was growing up, all the Chinese movies were like this… “You want me to eat your hot wings?”. They were like that.
Right? Sean: Yeah. Shaq: So, I was just tryina, I was just tryina, you know, have some fun. Yao Ming! You dare come to the US… and you wanna battle Shaq? So, I was doing stuff like that. So, my father got really upset. And he said: “You shouldn’t do that.”. And I said: “Why? I’m just…”, he said: “‘Cause, uh, when Yao Ming was young, he used to write me letters.”.
Yeah. He said: “Man, this kid’s been idolizing you. I didn’t wanna tell you, but he’s been idolizing you, been writing letters. Show him a little bit more…”. I was just, you know, I was just tryina, you know, I’m Shaq Fu, and you come from over… So, but… people, you know, they actually, you know, took it the wrong way.
But, my father was very upset. He said: “You need to show this young man…”. So, when I got home, he used to send me Christmas cards… Sean: Yeah. You guys have a… Shaq: Birthday cards. Sean: …pretty cool relationship. Shaq: Yeah. Yeah. So, every time I go to China, I just try to, like, you know, reach out to him.
Sean: Do you remember giving me a smooch? Shaq: That was you. Sean: On the top of the head. Shaq: I didn’t recognize you. That was you. Sean: This is at the <i>Super Bowl</i>, a few years ago. Shaq: You bastard! You tried to switch it up with the beard. Trying to come in here and t
ell me your name was… America, he told me he was Justin Timberlake. He sent the email and said: “Justin Timberlake wanna interview you.”. I have a confession. Sean: Yes. Shaq: These wings are not cold. They’re hot. I’m sweating and my boys are sweating. That’s how hot they are. I’ll let you figure out what my boys are. Which one was that? Sean: “Adoboloco Holohe Kid”, out of Hawaii.
Shaq: Almost made a face. I’m a man of faith. God darn. This is the one that I’m scared of. Sean: The next one? Shaq: Pan in. Get the scared face. Sean: So, as we touched on in your intro, “<i>Inside the NBA</i>”, it’s won nine <i>Emmy Awards</i>. and I’m sure I’m not alone in thinking that it’s the best sports show on TV.
How is your attitude towards the sports press shifted since becoming an analyst? Like, are you more sympathetic to the sports media now than you were during your playing days? Shaq: No, I realized that everyone has a job to do. Being in the game for a long time, I could tell who’s being personal and who’s not.
I have the ability to, when I hear criticism, I turn off being Shaq for a while, and then my intelligence kicks in. Like, Shaq’s a great player, but… So, then I’m just focused on the “but”. I am a great player, but… they’re right. I’m only shooting 45% from the free throw line, so… there’s some validity here, when he said that. Then I turne the Shaq back on, I won’t be upset.
Sean: I wanna do a thought exercise. I want you to think about, if Twitter and Instagram existed when you were in the <i>NBA</i>, would that be good for Shaq or would that be bad for Shaq? Shaq: It would be both. I always say what’s on my mind and, sometimes, you have to be politically correct, sometimes I am, sometimes I’m not.
But, as far as advertising and marketing, I definitely would have been a trillionaire by now. But, I also would have got into some trouble. You know, I always tell people, especially when I’m doing speeches: “Yeah, I’m Shaq, I’m nice, but don’t put anybody on a pedestal.”. Sean: Shaq, you ready to move on? Shaq: I’m waiting on you, Timberlake. Which one is this? The “Garlic Reaper Sauce”.
Sean: It’s the “Garlic Reaper”. Shaq: My boys are sweating real bad. Oh, you tricked me. Oh, my… I’m not gonna make a face, though. Sean: So, since retiring from the <i>NBA</i>, you’ve launched this second career in law e
nforcement… working, working as a Reserve Officer in several cities, and then, even last year, becoming an honorary deputy in Clayton County, Georgia. Shaq: I’m not honorary, I’m a real deputy. Sean: What advice do you have for talking your way out of a speeding ticket? Shaq: I’m still not making a face, though. I don’t talk my way out of speeding tickets, because police officers have it hard and people have it hard.
If he pulled me over, I probably did it. And this comes from being raised by a drill sergeant. You show every man respect. You show every woman respect. So, when I get pulled over. Yes, sir. No, sir. I have a, I have a badge, but I don’t flash it. Um, and then I ask him: “Did I do something wrong?”. “You were speeding.”.
My bad, I apologize. They give me a ticket. Take it. Have a great day, be safe. That’s what it’s all about. It ain’t about I’m this and that. Ain’t got time for that. ‘Cause those people have jobs to do, also. Right? Those people are under a lot of stress. I ain’t trying to get blown away. Sean: And then, you’ve made some noise about possibly running for sheriff in 2020.
Shaq: I’m gonna do it in 2024. Sean: 2024? Shaq: Yeah. I think I spoke too early, ’cause I got a lot going on right now, and when I become sheriff, I wanna be there for the people. Like, right now, I’m deejaying and doing this, like, I can’t… I don’t wanna, I don’t want to be that guy. I thought, I thought this was hot.
This is nothing over. I over exaggerated. “Da’ Bomb Beyond Insanity” hot sauce. Where you be getting all this stuff from? Sean: That’s from Kansas. Shaq: Kansas don’t know how to do no hot wings. Kansas. Oh, I apologize, Kansas. Holy… Sean: It’s time to reach for that jug. Shaq: You lied to me. You… Oh! Oh-ho-ho! That’s what got me.
God. Sean: All right, Shaq. Actin’ a f… Shaq: Ah, you a fuckin’ liar. Sean: “<i>Shaqtin’ A Fool</i>”. It’s undeniable. One of the greates… Shaq: You said it wasn’t hot. Sean: …TV segments… Shaq: You fucker. Sean: …of our era, but with the proliferation of the internet and camera phones… 
haq: I don’t know what tha mean. Sean: …there’s so much more than what’s just on the <i>NBA</i>, on TNT… Shaq: Is this hotter than taht? Sean: or <i>ESPN</i>. So, what we’re going to do… Shaq: Fuckin’ liar. Sean: …is show you some of the great internet, best of the worst basketball clips, and I just want you to react to what you’re seeing. How are you doing Shaq? All right? Shaq: Oh. Oh. Sean: All right, Shaq. Does this take you back…
Shaq: I’m not watching that right now. Sean: Does this take you back to your high school days? Shaq: That’s exactly what happened. Sean: All right. Up next. Shaq: Holy shit. Commentator: <i>Preparing for a potential rebound.</i> <i>Second free throw, my goodness.</i> Shaq: I don’t know what happened.
You got some ice cube chapstick? My lips are hot, right now. Sean: Do we have ice cube chapstick? Shaq: Goddamn. Sean: Do we have a napkin? Shaq: Oh, give me some ice or something. Sean: Going in with the ice. And then one more for you. Is this an out of line move by this guy? Shaq: That move is nuts. Are these two as hot as the last one? as the last one? Sean: So let me…
Sean: Yes or no? Don’t BS me. Sean: No, no. I think, if you can handle this, you can handle any hot sauce in the world, Shaq. Shaq: You gotta pan in on that cry. That’s how hot it is. I’m, like, look at that. You pannin’ in? See the tears coming out? One time I ate something hot, I’m lactose intolerant, so I drank some milk.
I went to the bathroom. Sean: The chemistry there. Shaq: You ever a boo boo on fours? Sean: No, I can’t say I have. Shaq: Okay, so. You usually, when you boo boo, you have two feet down. Sean: Yeah, yeah. Shaq: It was coming out so hot I had to rim, I go ah-ah, ah-ah. Right? It’s like that. Ah-ah, ah… Boo boo on fours.
All right. Last one, last two? Sean: Last two. Sean: We’re almost there, Shaq. Shaq: Oh, my God. Sean: This is “Hellfire Fear This!”. Shaq: Get out of here. Can I dip it in some milk, or something? Sean: Go for it. Go for it. Go for it. Give that a wash.
I don’t know if that’s gonna make things better or worse, but… Shaq: You don’t think so? Sean: We’ll find out now. Shaq: Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Sean: All right, Shaq. We’ve touched on many aspects of your multi-pronged career, but you can go down so many rabbit holes… Shaq: I’ve got my nose running. Sean: …with all that you’ve touched? outside the court and inside the court.
As one of the most pedigreed practical jokers, what’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled on Charles Barkley? Shaq: Welcome to Shaq’s edition of “Snotty Nose Wings”. I feel like Snottie Pippen up here, eating these wings. Can’t tell you. But, Charles doesn’t like to wear underwear, s
o… one time we put some extra lotion and Vaseline inside his slacks, and when he pulls it up, he, he felt wet down there. Sean: One of the most underrated shows of all time is “<i>Shaq Vs.</i>”, where you take on other athletes in their own sports. Were you more proud of your performance boxing Oscar De La Hoya or swimming against Michael Phelps? Shaq: Swimming against Michael Phelps.
I sit home and I watch TV and I say: “I could be like you. I could interview people.”. Like, that, that’s just, that’s just the guy in me. I can do that. I could do…like every guy does it. Right? So, I was like: “Okay, if you give me an advantage, I think I could beat most of these great athletes.”. And, crazy, the only guy I beat was Charles Barkley, in golf.
Sean: Yeah. Shaq: You remember that clip? Sean: Mhm. Shaq: Here it is right here. I’m not gonna eat that one. I don’t, I don’t trust you. Sean: All right, Shaq. This is the last dab. Shaq: Actually, you know what? Sean: Yeah. Shaq: How far is this camera pan out? Sean: Give Shaq a wide… Shaq: Can you see that? You see that? Little two napkins. If you make that, then I’ll eat it.
Sean: We’re putting a wager on this one. I’ll eat it regardless. Shaq: No, you gotta make it. Sean: I’ll eat it regardless. I’ll put a little extra on the last wing. Shaq: Whew. Schoenberger, where’s my, where’s that ball? Shaq: Right here. Nah, we don’t use balls. Sean: Okay. Okay. Shaq: Wait. It’s too close.
See this, camera guy? Sean: All right. Shaq: Ready? Sean: Yeah. I’m ready. Shaq: Go! Sean: Oh. Shaq: Yes. You get another shot. Yes. I don’t have to eat it. Sean: All right, Shaq. You don’t have to eat. Shaq: Thank you. Sean: I’ll eat. Doctor, let the fans down. Shaq: Didn’t let them down. A bet is a bet. Sean: It’s on you. Shaq: Oh, okay. Sean: That’s on me. That’s on me. Shaq: Oh, I thought, okay, I was gonna say…
Sean: But you know what, Shaq? Sean: We still have one more hurdle to dunk on before we get you out of here. And, you know, you’ve won an MVP, you’ve won four <i>NBA</i> championships, even a gold medal. Now, I’m not the world’s best free thrower, but you also have that record for the most attempted free throws with none made in a game.
So, this might be… Shaq: None made? That’s not true. Sean: 11. Shaq: What do you mean? I went 0 for 11. Sean: Yeah. Shaq: When? Sean: In December, uh, December 8th, 2000. Shaq: Oh. The same year I won a championship? Sean: That’s true, that’s true.
But, what we’re gonna do is go against each other in a free throw shoot off. Now it’s not just me. It’s gona be best of five. Shaq: Wait. Sit down. Sean: Yes, sir. Shaq: Sit down. You have to eat, you have to eat a Shaq sauce wing. You never heard of the Shaq sauce? Sean: No. It’s a full education right now. Shaq: Shaq sauce has all these sauces combined. A little bit of that.
Sean: Whoa. Shaq: You can help me. Sean: All right. Whoever loses the free throw battle… Shaq: No, no, no. I’m not eating that. You gotta eat it. Sean: Why do I have to eat this? Shaq: Because, because… Sean: What’s in it for me to eat this? Shaq: …you’re the guy. Shaq: ‘Cause this is the Shaq, so I wanna see if you can eat it without making a face.
It’s called the Shaq sauce. All the sauces combined. Sean: This is disgusting. Shaq: No, it’s not. It’s beautiful. Sean: All right. Shaq: Wait, wait. All right. Sean: “Hippy Dippy Green”. And then a little “Classic”, to boot. Now here’s the situation. We’re having a free throw off… Shaq: No, you have to eat that. Then I’ll have the free throw off. No negotiations here.
Sean: All right. But let’s put something. Shaq: You just tell me how hot it is. Sean: Let’s put something at stake for the free throw off. Shaq: Okay, let’s do it. If you beat me, I’ll put 5000 towards your favorite charity. Sean: IRC. Shaq: IRC. Deal. Sean: All right. Deal. Shaq: All right. Sean: Without making a face.
Shaq: Whoa, whoa. You gotta eat the whole thing, buddy. Sean: Well, I don’t know if I can. Sean: This is really disgusting. Shaq: No, it’s not. It’s great. It’s called the Shaq sauce. You got it. Go! Go! Go! Everybody, come on! Go! Sean: Not making a face. Shaq: Go! Go! Go! S
ean: Not making a… Shaq: Everybody let’s say.., face. Shaq: Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! All right, that’s good. YOu can stop. Sean: All right. Shaq: Is it hot? Sean: Yes. It’s very fucking hot. Shaq: No milk. No milk. Get out of here. Sean: All right, Shaq. Shaq: The Shaq sauce. All these sauces combined. Sean: Oh! Oh! Sean: All right. Sean: Best of five. I’m a very gracious host.
Do you wanna go first, or do you want me to go first? Shaq: Sister, girl. Best of five? I’ll go first. Right here? Sean: From behind the chair. Shaq: Okay. Sean: Five shots. Shaq: From behind the chair? Ready? Sean: Ready. Shaq: One. You said behind the chair. Sean: Two. Shaq: Two for two. You need to clarify your rules.
Sean: You’re gonna rim, you’re gonna rim… Shaq: Three for three. Sean: …one of these out. Shaq: No I’m not. You said behind the chair. Four for four. The black Steph Curry. Eyes closed on this one. Sean: All right. Shaq: I made it? Sean: All right. You missed it. Shaq: Dammit. Okay. Sean: So, there’s still a chance.
Four out of five from Shaq. Big money on the line. Shaq: Behind the chair. Sean: Lot at stake. One. Thank you, Shaq. Very generous of you. Shaq: What’s that? Two for three? Sean: Two for three. Shaq: So, we can tie. Sean: Three for four. Oh. Shaq: Last one. Sean: Oh. Bouncing back. Pressure on the line. Shaq: And there it goes. More wings.
That was your bet. Right? You eat another. Sean: A-a. A-a. Shaq: You said… Sean: Shaq. Shaq: America. Ain’t that what he said? Sean: Shaq. Shaq: That’s what you said. Sean: All right. Well here we are at the end of the line. Shaq, what a run it’s been.
And now there’s nothing left to do, but roll out the red carpet for you, my man. This camera, this camera, or this camera. Let the people know what you have going on in your life. Shaq: This is Shaq. Tickets on sale now. “Shaq’s Fun House”, Miami. Don’t wanna miss it. We’ve already had two and they were outstanding. You don’t wanna mi… A-a, no milk for you. And you don’t wanna miss this one.
We will have Shaq sauce wings there. Shaq: Thank you. Sean: Thank you, man. Sean: Thank you. Shaq: All right. You ever seen that show <i>Hot Ones</i>, where they eat the hot wings? Director: Then his, um… Shaq: You ever see that show where they eat the hot wings? Shaq’s wife: I don’t think so. Shaq: That’s what I’m doing, I’m eating motherfucker, these hot little motherfucker. Shaq’s wife: Why? Hey. Oh, hell no. Shaq: This one.
Sean: This is the Shaq sauce. Shaq: This one is the hottest one. Shaq’s wife: Your stomach’s about to hurt. Shaq: I know, I already got to take a shit. And this other one. What’s the other one? The fucking ghoast reaper pepper shit. Sean: Mm. This one. Shaq: This one. Shaq’s wife: Those will creep up on you. Shaq: I know. I gotta shit already.
Then I have been drinking milk. I’m about to go take a shit right now. Right in the studio. All right. We done? Director: Yep. Shaq: All right. Love you guys. Oh. Director: Thanks everyone. Shaq: All right. I’ll call you when I get in the car, baby. Love you. Sean: Hey, what’s going on, everybody? This is Sean Evans checking in to say thank you so much for…
Bill: What’s up, Spice Lords? Camera guy Bill here. I just couldn’t get enough of this glitz and glamour. So, I came back to tell you, if you wanna buy some official <i>Hot Ones</i> merchandise, go to <i>shop.firstwefeast.com</i>. If you’re lazy, you can just click one of these t-shirts down there. This is camera guy Bill here, saying it’s good to be camera guy Bill.
